For the first time in fifteen years, I’m becoming a stay at home mom. I’ve been part of the corporate world for over twenty years. Time passes very quickly when you’re working the nine-to-five. It passes even more quickly, after you have a little one and you know this is your last child.
While at the office, I found myself speaking of my daughter often with the other new moms about how badly we all want to stay at home with our babies and how difficult it is coming to terms with someone else seeing and practically raising them. We all had the same thought, “I’d stay at home with my baby in a snap if we could afford it.” How sad that the power and need of that mighty dollar held of all beneath its thumb without even breaking a sweat.
The biggest problem I found with my little one being in daycare was how often she fell ill. The last virus and dual ear infections put my baby down for two weeks. As I sat there watching her struggle to breathe, the feeling of helplessness swelled inside me. The compounded thoughts of the desire to stay at home mixed with the guilt of being a bad mother, finally forced me to make the ultimate decision to leave the corporate world behind me.
Now for the good part.
Since I’ve been home with my daughter, I’ve gained a whole new perspective on life. It doesn’t seem as gloomy and mundane as before. I’ve seen my baby take her first steps. She’s now beginning to put words together and understand their meaning. Even though, she still fights me on exactly what the word no means, that’s just part of her personality coming to light. I have time now, to pick up where we left off with infant sign language. What a joy it was, the first time she signed cookie or milk instead of the usual screaming.
I’ve found the desire to cook d bake again. Heck, I’m even getting up early to make breakfast and pack lunches for my husband and teenage daughter. Appreciation from your husband is a wonderful thing, but when a teenager expresses gratitude, it’s a moment to be marked down in history.
In another week, after I finalize things at work, we’ll be able to settle into our own little routine. Hopefully, this new found perspective on life will open the doors of my creative side once more and allow the words to flow onto the pages once more.
Somewhere in the past fifteen years or so, I lost myself. Making this change in my life, is good for my family, and me and will set me on a path of new discovers that I can’t wait to uncover.
Ever start over? What was your big change?